The Headless Dance

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The music slowed to a grotesque tempo as the headless men lined the walls, their lined jackets flickering under the light of one thousand wax candles suspended from the ceiling.
The dark, dim room span in slow circles, making the men dizzy with anticipation.
Months had passed and tonight was the night.
Tonight was the night that the headless dance would commence once more.
The headless men waited in the light for their counterparts to reveal themselves from the shadows that they thrive in for weeks at a time, their eyes glinting in the flames of their own dark desire.
As the music picked up speed, the women were enticed forward.
They step in time, their high heeled boots clicking on the cold ground, to the tune of each man’s heartless corpse.
The shadows twirled towards the waiting line, each bony caress of their hands encouraging their heartless chests to beat harder and with an elegant longing
The bodies two by two joined the ballroom floor in a jolting harmony.
Heartbeats beating in heartless ribcages in time to the songless symphony.

They dance in shaky circles; one step left, two steps right,
a simple lift and a silent plight.
Backwards, forwards, left and right,
into the dark, then in to the light
the heartless men come dancing
Their footsteps are advancing
The men move faster, the women resist,
he places a kiss against her wrist,
the blood pumps round to her heart and back,
but the man’s shrivelled heart is empty and black.
His hand takes a hold and she shivers with cold,
her skin becomes pale, his breath becomes stale,
her eyes become wide, he soon slips inside…

Her neck stands alone
She no longer exists
Her heart has been thrown
From the blood on his lips
So the men line the walls and they wait for their chance,
to find their new prize at the next headless dance.

Inside

Open the door and look inside
Can you see me if I hide
Behind my hands
I close my eyes
I can’t let you see inside
Hide my feelings hide my lies
Maybe this time I won’t cry
Drink the milk and taste the blood
Maybe this is why I’m numb
Poke me prod me push me around
I’ll still be here, I won’t hurt
I’m always found
Down in the dirt

Blood

Leaves are growing through my veins and blocking all the blood
It floods my heart and floods my brain and now I don’t know how I am supposed to choose between you or myself.
Instead I will drown in the red and the blue and the tears that over flow under my eyelids.
Catch them.
Catch them if you can.
Feed them to your thirsty heart and you can choose me as
I have chosen
you.

Ache

 

My legs ache like they’ve never ached before and I
Didn’t know it was possible to feel this lonely even
Though I am surrounded by people who know me the best but
If they know me the best then why am I so
So
Alone?

You can ask the questions but you’ll rarely get
The answer.
Maybe there isn’t an
Answer just lots and lots of
Questions and queries and thoughts and unanswered phone calls
At 3 in the morning when you’re at your worst, but they’re at their best fast asleep and
Dreaming of a new day when you’re hoping that this will
Be your
Last.

Laughing

Laughing is a great way to keep track of where you feel the best
Last time I laughed I was alone
Maybe I’m better off there too
But then whenever I am with you I get this feeling
Like if I laugh I’ll wake you up and you’ll realise that I’m not the one you want
Maybe I belong with you
But maybe I belong alone
Without you
Where I can laugh and be me
But am I really me when I’m not with you?
Do I even exist or am I just here for you?

Mine

Your heart beats like mine
A little bit soft a little bit sad
Slowed by the dust and the grime
And the sound of the girl I never had.

You miss her too
I know you do don’t you?
I can hear her laugh in your tears.
Don’t you know I feel the same?
I feel that pain and my cries laugh with her smiles too.
You could be my new laugh and I will be your smile
Maybe then you’ll see it’s worth the while
To love someone who isn’t worth loving at all.

Something

Something’s not quite right in the way
She moves and the way she seems to
See everything and think so deeply yet
Feel so empty and full at the same time.
Is she worth something? Or is it just a way
To make the lonely nights seem a little less
Lonely as she dreams of the future that she can not
Touch.
Just a life time away and yet so far
She stares in to the distance
Where the best of her dances around in the
Grass and the wind and the rain and the sun
And the dance of her life has barely begun
So she lies on the floor and looks up at the sky
Hoping that this will be how she will die.

The sky

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The crack in the sky opened and the

Rain poured down

with the pain of one thousand sunsets

in the space of a few hasty seconds.
The pain concentrated on my heart

and pulsed the feeling through my

Veins, cracking my blood and drying 
my tears and reminding me that
I was barely there yet
No further than you were
In that moment.