Know

 

You know that I need this sweet breath of air
to fill my lungs with dreams that find my head
my love, you try to stitch me up instead
the lack of you, it leaves my lungs so bare
I cry for your love, I scream for your care
But to you, I still lie, chained to the bed
Surrounded with an air of hasty red
My sheets now show the stains of spirit shared

You try to tell me all will soon be lost
A careless spill of courage and of doubt
For someone so soft, so sad, so damn sick
But you are worth no, love, or care, or lust
No matter how you try to show me out
A girl like me, you just can not unstick

Inside

Open the door and look inside
Can you see me if I hide
Behind my hands
I close my eyes
I can’t let you see inside
Hide my feelings hide my lies
Maybe this time I won’t cry
Drink the milk and taste the blood
Maybe this is why I’m numb
Poke me prod me push me around
I’ll still be here, I won’t hurt
I’m always found
Down in the dirt

Blood

Leaves are growing through my veins and blocking all the blood
It floods my heart and floods my brain and now I don’t know how I am supposed to choose between you or myself.
Instead I will drown in the red and the blue and the tears that over flow under my eyelids.
Catch them.
Catch them if you can.
Feed them to your thirsty heart and you can choose me as
I have chosen
you.

Ache

 

My legs ache like they’ve never ached before and I
Didn’t know it was possible to feel this lonely even
Though I am surrounded by people who know me the best but
If they know me the best then why am I so
So
Alone?

You can ask the questions but you’ll rarely get
The answer.
Maybe there isn’t an
Answer just lots and lots of
Questions and queries and thoughts and unanswered phone calls
At 3 in the morning when you’re at your worst, but they’re at their best fast asleep and
Dreaming of a new day when you’re hoping that this will
Be your
Last.

Laughing

Laughing is a great way to keep track of where you feel the best
Last time I laughed I was alone
Maybe I’m better off there too
But then whenever I am with you I get this feeling
Like if I laugh I’ll wake you up and you’ll realise that I’m not the one you want
Maybe I belong with you
But maybe I belong alone
Without you
Where I can laugh and be me
But am I really me when I’m not with you?
Do I even exist or am I just here for you?

Mine

Your heart beats like mine
A little bit soft a little bit sad
Slowed by the dust and the grime
And the sound of the girl I never had.

You miss her too
I know you do don’t you?
I can hear her laugh in your tears.
Don’t you know I feel the same?
I feel that pain and my cries laugh with her smiles too.
You could be my new laugh and I will be your smile
Maybe then you’ll see it’s worth the while
To love someone who isn’t worth loving at all.

Something

Something’s not quite right in the way
She moves and the way she seems to
See everything and think so deeply yet
Feel so empty and full at the same time.
Is she worth something? Or is it just a way
To make the lonely nights seem a little less
Lonely as she dreams of the future that she can not
Touch.
Just a life time away and yet so far
She stares in to the distance
Where the best of her dances around in the
Grass and the wind and the rain and the sun
And the dance of her life has barely begun
So she lies on the floor and looks up at the sky
Hoping that this will be how she will die.

The sky

pexels-photo

The crack in the sky opened and the

Rain poured down

with the pain of one thousand sunsets

in the space of a few hasty seconds.
The pain concentrated on my heart

and pulsed the feeling through my

Veins, cracking my blood and drying 
my tears and reminding me that
I was barely there yet
No further than you were
In that moment.